all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
we should paint friendship bongs
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