i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He did a backflip because drugs
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