And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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