how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a beard to bite.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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