I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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