Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
