another moral hangover. fuck.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
