I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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