Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
