we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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