Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
