when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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