i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
