Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
