Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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