Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
