He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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