so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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