the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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