You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
