The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
