im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
