just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
