Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
