So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
