i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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