Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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