I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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