I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
