Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
