just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
