I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
