I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
