So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize