Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
