Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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