Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dick has a subreddit
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
