So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
