I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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