every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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