She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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