If that was your dad, he is hot
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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