i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
don't judge my taste in strippers
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
