I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
