Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
