i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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