I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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