There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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