I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
