I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
