I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
