i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
