Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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