I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
