There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize