Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
