I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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