I hate all girls vehemently.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
where are my eyebrows?
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