TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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