Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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