Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Congratulations! We have a period
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